Trent says that money isn’t the true gauge with which to measure how rich you are.

In the end, being rich has nothing to do with money. It has to do with being happy with what you have and not desiring more. Being rich is having enough. Some people working minimum wage jobs are rich and some people with millions in the bank are not.

Awh, how sweet! Let’s take a word that typically conjures up the thought of a wealthy individual or existence, and on a personal finance blog, twist it up to use another definition of the word. Then we can all clasp our hands with glee in knowing that wow… we’re already rich!

And then we wake up the next morning and look at our bank statement and bills, see ourselves to be a hundred or two short, and reality comes crashing down on our heads. Oh, joy.

Not to take much away from Trent – I love the guy’s blog, and he’s been a huge inspiration to me. We’ve disagreed in the past, but for the most part, he’s on target with his writings. Sorry, man… not this time. I feel like you were grasping and straws and basking in the glow of your newborn son when you wrote that. (Genuine congrats, by the way!)

So. That being said, I know that I’m far from rich, and I want to take this inspiration from Trent to talk about what it is that I feel would make me “rich” (in the financial sense, of course).

To me, the definition revolves around being not only financially sound, or having your children be well taken care of, but yes… it’s having the luxury of not worrying about that bill that’s looming. Or the fact that you can take the time to take a vacation wherever you want and spend time making memories. Sure, you can make memories in your living room, but you can’t see the Eiffel Tower in person from there. I’d feel rich if I could have the ability to take off an afternoon and bring a few girlfriends for a full spa treatment – and pay their way. I’d feel rich if I had the cars, home, boat, and abilities that truly wealthy people do.

Does this make me materialistic? Possibly. Does it make me a ruthless greed? No. Does it make me a bad person? Sorry, I know I’m not a bad person. I know that my priorities are firmly in place, and that I’m doing everything in my power to take care of those priorities, and achieve my dreams and goals.

I want a family. I want a career that makes me eager to get to work every day. I want a clean, healthy home. I want my future children to grow up healthy, to be good people. I want to be able to feed them good food, put them in nice clothes, and yes… spoil them a little. I want to continue to volunteer my time when I can, to help others. I want to love and feel love in return. There’s nothing wrong with wanting these things for myself and my future family. If it means that I’d have to be “rich” in order to have these things (and let’s face it, it would), then yes. I want to be rich.

I’m really tired of the idea that life can be amazing and wonderful when you’re broke. It reminds me of an argument I once got in with a woman on a very popular weight loss site. She was a paying member, as was I, and the main purpose for paying is to have tools to help you lose weight. In a message board area, there was a woman bemoaning her lack of love life and blaming it on her weight. At the time, I could more than sympathize with her.

Next thing you know, there’s this woman whose photo and profile showed her to be well over 300 pounds. She comes in and starts telling everyone how happy she is. “Fat and happy” is what she called it. She said that not all fat people are sad, lonely, or depressed (which of course, I’m sure is very true) and she said that there is nothing about her weight that has ever, or would ever bring her down, even for a moment.

Wait. What?

I’m sorry, but you can probably guess where I’m going with this… CLEARLY, if you’re trying to lose weight, you’re unhappy with your weight. If you’re unhappy with it, there’s a reason. It’s holding you back from SOMETHING that would make you happy. Be it a clean bill of health from your doctor, to being able to ride on a roller coaster, to wearing less expensive, pretty clothing. SOMETHING is bothering you. You’re not entirely blissful all the time. At some point, you stood in a dressing room full of clothes that don’t fit and cried. At some point, someone you wanted to know rejected you for your size. At some point, you tried to do something physical that you could not, because of your weight.

Just like I can’t believe that this woman is totally, 100% blissful all the time, I refuse to believe that anyone can be totally, 100% blissful about their finances all the time. Even if you’re not truly wanting for anything, you’ve got a good grip on your money, and you’re planning properly for your future, something will happen at some point in time that will make you wish you were “rich”. Doesn’t mean you don’t feel fulfilled when you play with your kids or make love to your partner. It just means that at some point, you’re wishing that you had MORE.

So that’s the end of my rant I suppose. I know I’m not rich yet. Far from it. Are you?

I had issues with a couple clients. Total, estimated worst-case-scenario financial loss this means for me in 2010? $13,ooo

In moving in with my boyfriend, I have sort of taken on a bit of his previous financial issues. No, I’m not paying all his bills or anything like that, but his financial past is now affecting my present. We talked, a LOT, and he’s on board with working together to sort out all the money stuff and get back on track. Sure, that last part’s a plus, but it’s getting to that point that’s going to be a struggle.

I realized that when it comes to money now, I’m very much like my mother, who panics when her bank balance drops below a certain number. I do the same thing. She has a bound set of index cards she uses to track her monthly bills, their due dates, the amount, and when she paid it. She’s got this thing laid out for months in advance. I do the same thing.

It’s scary as hell to sit here and worry about what would happen if something happened to my bf and he couldn’t work. What if we get married and have kids, and all of  the sudden, he’s laid up for months with a back injury (he already has a bad back)? I’ve just lost $13,000 potential income for this year, and what happens to us if something bad happens to either of us?

I know, I know… “That’s why you need to have an emergency fund.” I can hear all you Suze Orman and Dave Ramsey fans out there chanting. But it’s stressful to try to pay all the bills and stay on top of them, and STILL save enough toward an emergency fund. Especially when we’re both in situations where our monthly income varies so much.

I would love NOTHING more than to be able to say that every week I’d put “even the smallest amount, say, $10″ away. But what always happens is that I’ll do that, and then in 2-3 weeks, something happens and I need that money. Either a job didn’t come through or a client is late paying, or I blow a tire, or something happens and medicine is needed… SOMETHING always happens to drain that emergency fund before it ever becomes something substantial.

I’m really hoping to hear that I’m not alone in this, and that someone out there feels this paralyzing fear that I do. I’m scared to death that something’s going to happen and I won’t be able to pay my health insurance and they’ll cancel me. (Don’t get me started on Obama’s cute little plan… even if it is worth something, you’re talking 3-4 years before it ever goes into true effect. Of course, I’m pretty afraid it’s not going to be worth anything to someone like me except costing me more in taxes so I can take care of people who don’t WANT to work, but I digress…)

I’m just having that anxiety thing… you know? Before now, I was living in the house I grew up in, paying so much less in bills than I am now. I was barely making it some months before, but I always had that safety net to carry me through when I needed it. Now, I have no room for a safety net and I’m terrified about my balance on the high-wire.

I have a history of bad balance and broken ankles, you know.

So there it is… my heart, laid out on the line. I’m freaking terrified.

Okay, so I let this whole thing go untouched for just a little too long now (since MAY!) and I’m back with a vengeance!

I’ve lost some control – in various aspects of my life – and I am gripping strong to controlling my finances right now, because flat out, it’s all I have. Sure, I’ve got my parents, true friends, my dogs… but I need to get a grip on something or I’m going to go crazy, so finances it is!

I’ve been spending a lot of time reading other personal finance blogs, filling up my RSS reader with all these great sites to get inspired by. It’s time I do something to inspire myself and others, so here I am. Join me on this journey, and for God’s sake, don’t let me fall off again, PLEASE!?

I’m not an expert (clearly). I’m not even looking to become one, in the general sense. I just want to finally start this journey, share it with you, and learn as we go. So what do you say?

I’m going to revamp a little more around here, so please feel free to offer suggestions and ideas. I’m anxious to get this thing rolling downhill!

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MVP refused to cover so much as a penny of it. So with the discount card I got, the total amount of the Rx was about $124. I was pretty crushed by this, and very worried that I wasn’t going to be able to handle that cost. I had called my dad up to whine about it, and ONLY to whine about it, and he told me that he was going to pick it up for me on his way home from work.

*insert incredibly sweet “Awhhh!” here*

*insert incredible feeling of guilt here*

I know my dad wants the best for me – he’s an amazing man. I know he wants me to be healthy and to save more money. I know that he did this for me out of pure love, and I seriously can’t even put into words how grateful I am for my dad in general. I don’t know where I’d be without him.

So I made the conscious decision that since I wanted to be giving him money on a regular basis each month to help offset the cost of the bills in the house, that I’m going to take $20 out of the money I earn at my cousin’s dog grooming parlor each week and give Dad the rest. I had figured in my budget that I could afford myself upwards of $15 a day for “daily living” expenses, and I just feel like that’s more than I need. (I only drive 2-3 days a week, and only buy food out 1-3 days per week.) So the rest is going to Dad.

That being said, I got the prescription and am anxious to get started. I’m thinking that I’d like to start taking the medication on June 1st (tomorrow!) and that will give me a target quit date of June 8th. The way it works is that you’re supposed to take the first week’s pills while trying to stop smoking all together. You can still smoke, but the goal is to track your smoking and try to cut back to stopping.

The pills reduce your cravings, so the rest is a matter of conscious thinking. I’m planning on keeping track of not only how many cigarettes I’m smoking each day, but the plans to cut back to a lesser amount the next day. I really don’t want to overthink it, but I know that it’s not a miracle pill, despite what I (and the pharmaceutical company tries to make us) wish were the case.

So there that is, I’m hoping that the extra money I’ll be saving each month (even though the Rx isn’t cheap) will help me with some things I’m wanting to put the money towards. I’m also pretty dang excited about the idea of not waking up in the mornings with a closed up throat, or dry mouth, or smelly clothes and hair, the thought of having nice clean, pink lungs someday, and decreasing my risks of heart attack, stroke, COPD, and cancers! Whee!

Conscious thinking results in consequential action, which almost always yields positive results.

Seriously. I know it’s not some kind of stroke of genius, but c’mon… how many times have we found ourselves in a situation where we hated the end result, and only after the fact thought about a better way to have handled things?

• You’re dieting. You find yourself at a barbecue with friends. There’s tons of beer, wine, and cocktails. There’s even more tons of food and desserts. An hour into the event, you find yourself gorging on two cheeseburgers, a baked potato with tons of butter and sour cream, a couple ears of corn (again with tons of butter), and later on a double helping of strawberry shortcake. All while washing it down with non-light beer or wine. Later on that evening, you feel like a bloated greaseball and end up saying, “WHY DID I DO THAT!?”
• You’re saving money. You find yourself at the mall with your best friend, a noted shopaholic. There’s a big “sale” going on at your favorite store, and you decide that “looking” wouldn’t hurt. Next thing you know, you’re at the checkout handing the clerk your store credit card (which features a stupendous 18.5% interest rate) and signing a bill for $300. You get home and start unpacking the bags and you remember that the car payment’s due. You stare in some kind of stupified amazement at your loot and say, “WHY DID I DO THAT?!”
• You’re working on eliminating stress. You work a really long day and your boss was breathing down your neck for the last 4 hours of it. On the way home, you get caught up behind a tractor trailer accident for an hour. You’re starving. Your significant other calls and wants to know where you are, why you’re late, when you’ll be home, and what you’re bringing for dinner. You lash out at him/her and get so flipping mad that you forget to pay attention to the light, get in a fender bender, and now, even more stressed out, find yourself thinking, “WHY DID I DO THAT?!”

Conscious thinking. Take stock of your emotions in any given situation, and before acting on anything, refocus your thought process. Take everything into consideration and weigh the results of your actions before acting. Here’s how the above situations COULD have gone:

• You’re dieting. You find yourself going to a barbecue with friends. About an hour before you left, you made yourself a quick salad with some grilled chicken on top and gobbled it up while preparing some cut up fruit and another plate of veggies to bring to the barbecue. You stop at the store on the way and grab some flavored sparkling water (zero calorie, of course). You get there and realize that one of your friends whom you haven’t seen in ages is there, so you two start chatting and after a few hours, you grab a plate of the fruit and veggies you brought because you realize that you were talking so much you forgot to eat. You get home and say to yourself, “I’M SO GLAD I DID THAT!”
• You’re saving money. Your shopaholic friend calls and wants you two to spend the day at the mall. You know that your favorite store is having a sale, and that if you go, you’ll wind up blowing a chunk of change there, so instead you suggest that the two of you hit up the local hot air balloon festival. They’ve got a flea market there going on and you’ve been dying to try using your old 35mm camera again, so you both win. On the way home you drop your film off at the one-hour photo and grab some groceries. You get home to check out your amazing photography skills, and you say, “I’M SO GLAD I DID THAT!”
• You’re working on eliminating stress. You’ve had a long day at work and your boss was breathing down your neck for the last 4 hours (sorry, we can’t change that part of the scenario). On the way home, you find yourself trapped behind a tractor trailer accident for an hour. You use that time to crank up your favorite CD and belt out the music. You remember that your significant other is home, and you turn down the tunes to call and let them know why you’re late, and explain that you’re very tired and would like to get some food delivered home. You ask that they pick whatever they and the kids want, and order it. You hang up the phone, go back to your rockin’ CD, and when traffic lightens up, you make it home with yourself and your car unscathed, just in time to sit down and enjoy some dinner, take a bath, and relax with the family for the rest of the night. In a moment of peace, you find yourself thinking, “I’M SO GLAD I DID THAT!”

See the differences? Conscious thinking results in consequential action, which almost always yields positive results.

I’m making a concerted effort in my life to now take into account every possible result and to try to choose the best way to handle things in order to garner the most positive result in the end. For me this means things like bringing my coffee with me in the morning (even though it takes me more time before heading out the door) and driving past the fast food joints knowing I have good food at home. Things like asking a client if I can call them back when they’re on the phone screaming at me, or waiting to respond to a nasty email from someone who just really “doesn’t get it” and has decided to take their bad day out on me. I want to lose weight, save money, and have more peace in my life too, so I need to be sure to react in ways that make those things happen for me, rather than making the bad things happen “to” me.

I first read The Secret early in 2007, after my mom bought the movie and we watched it together. I’ll admit, that it sounded a lot to me like a hokey version of the power or prayer. It expanded upon prayer by including visualization, and made it non-denominational by calling that which you pray to “The Universe”.

However for some reason, I just couldn’t get away from thinking, “This might just actually work.”

As I mentioned, this was the beginning of 2007. I remembered the stories of writing checks to oneself in huge amounts, and plastering photos up on the wall of material items one wanted. So since I spend a great deal of my time on my computer, I decided to stick up a handmade goal:

“$150,000 – 12/31/07″

Guess what! Even though I looked at that every single day, it didn’t happen. Not even close. Mayyyybe 10% of that? But after all income/spending was said and done? I actually was in the hole by quite a bit come the end of the year.

Do I think it might’ve been an unreasonable request? Maybe.
Do I think that it might’ve been an unclear one? Not really.
Do I think that I needed to do more to make it happen? Definitely.

Fast-forward to the end of February 2008. My boyfriend and his mom and sister have consistently taken every opportunity they could to say something to the effect of “get a job”. Sure, they’ve been polite about it, and it’s not because they think I’m some kind of loser (I think) but rather because my situation just doesn’t make sense to most people. This “work from home” thing often feels like some kind of scam or get rich quick scheme that’s neither making me rich, or doing ANYTHING quickly.

I decided that I needed to do a whole lot of things to improve my financial situation, and one of those things was to redirect my focus online. Well, how does one get online? Via a computer. That has a monitor. Like the one I’m using now that used to have a really huge goal on it. That was in need of a new goal.

February 29, 2008 – I put up another handmade goal that reads: “MARCH ’08 $2500.00″

Can I tell you a secret?

It’s now March 4th and I’ve already beat it. I’m pushing $3,000 right now.

Can I tell you how good this feels?

It feels WONDERFUL! I’m feeling inspired, and driven, and like I can do anything right now. And I will.

And my goal for April is going to be double.