Merging Lives (and Finances, Habits, Bills, Food, etc.)

Image by mar1lyn84 on Flickr

Ahh, the joys of moving in with your significant other! You get to sleep in the same bed, where you’re the first and last part of each other’s days. You are guaranteed someone to snuggle with, eat dinner with, discover that you both are obsessed with South Park… it’s amazing!

And then you’ve got the piles of clothes left all over the place where the person last wearing them stood just prior to removing them. You’ve got dirty dishes in the sink and nothing in the dishwasher. You’ve got hair in the tub. You’ve got piles of random things everywhere. You’re constantly being asked, “Honey? Have you seen my ____________?” Oh, and who was it that ate the last of the cookies but didn’t throw out the box?

And let’s not even discuss the toilet. I’ve decided that the toilet is one of those male/female battles that will rarely be won.

I’m totally no angel when it comes to neat and organized. However I never realized just how angelic I was about it until the boy and I moved in together. It’s already gotten to the point where I’ve decided that instead of nagging (because I seriously don’t have the energy for that), that it’s probably best for me just to be that ever-so-stereotypical “housewife” type and just do it all myself. Yup, I’ll keep things clean, he’ll keep spoiling me by making dinner most nights, fixing the things that are broken around the house, and bringing me a glass of wine in bed.

But it’s still the organizational process of all of this that gets frustrating. I moved into his place, so we’ve got all his “stuff” to get through before I can even finish moving my stuff in (thanks for the continued storage space, Dad).

I’m discovering too, that the same goes for finances and bills. We discussed how we were going to handle things, but basically we’ve both got fairly fluctuating incomes. I’ve been the one who’s had a decent stranglehold on her financial situation, however, and he’s quite the opposite. I’m still working on the best way to make budgets and such for that kind of thing, but it’s definitely an experience!

So while in an ideal world, two people would fall in love who have the same cleanliness habits, great finances, amazing organizational skills with everything in life. I’m sure there are couples out there who were lucky enough to find themselves in that situation, but the reality is that most people aren’t that much in the same boat with everything. I guess I’m a firm believer in the idea that if you love someone, you find a way to make things work. Give and take. Compromise. Part of being a team in a relationship is figuring out who’s good at what and having each others’ skills make up for their own individual lacking thereof.

So how did you and your significant other get through these kinds of changes? Most specifically, anyone have any success stories?